Embarrassment of Zumba

Last night was Zumba class. I have been quite down the last several days ever since Saturday actually. I wasn't at all thrilled to be at Zumba class what so ever and I wore a frown the entire time. Why so down you ask? It is damn hard to live off of 1600 calories and have any extra energy to do a serious work out! I have been absolutely exhausted the whole week and the last thing I wanted to do was have a "fun" work out.

Well, Zumba class is held at an elementary school and last night they were holding Little League sign ups in the hall way right out side the gym where we Zumba our butts off. There I was not happy to be there, hungry, weak, tired, and shaking my stuff while parents and their young children tried not to watch. One mom found her son smiling and watching us she blushed and turned his head away! No the class is not that bad but there is lots of hip shaking and gyrating. It actually is fun to do when I'm in a good mood and people aren't just watching. How embarrassing...

With 15 minutes left in the class I was feeling faint but kept on shaking it. I finished the class best I could because I'm no quitter and I actually do want to loose weight. Right after class I found on of the main SS and said, "I'm in trouble, I just don't think I can eat so little, I barely made it through the class." She looked concerned and told me to go back up to my original eating plan and I would be needing more calories now that I'm working out more and harder. Duh...

I was quite happy and relieved to hear I could be eating more. Oh, who am I kidding? I was thrilled!! I feel better all ready and am ready to Zumba my little rear off tomorrow at 5:30 a.m.

Yes, and I have lost more weight. I don't know how much because I weighed on my friendly scale but I could tell it was even a little more friendly then usual.

I ...

gained a pound :-(

I did order a nice scale so I can weigh myself when I like to which is in the morning, after I pee, and naked.

I'm not sure how I gained a pound but what ever.

Starting next week I will be Zumba-ing 3 times a week and working out on my own either twice for 45 mins or three times for 30 mins. Not sure which I will do yet.

I have to admit I'm a little bummed and gaining a pound after my hard weekend isn't cool but I'm not giving up.

I'm sorry that dress doesn't come in that size.

I have been on a diet once before. I was in good shape when I got married and then gained about 20 pounds with in the first 6 months of marriage. I didn't mean to gain weight, I just really didn't know how to cook or menu plan and the weight just added up quite fast. I didn't realize the problem till it was time for my friend's wedding. I went to the store to get fitted for the bride's maid dress. I grabbed the size 13 and couldn't even zip it up, actually I don't think I was even able to pull it up over my hips, it had to be pulled down over my head. I wasn't concerned and asked the sales lady for a size 15 or 16 and she said, "I'm sorry that dress doesn't come in that size, the largest is a 13." Ouch. I bought the size 13 and had 6 months to fit into it. I left the dress at my husband's parents house and tried it on every weekend and every weekend it would zip up just a little further till 3 weeks before the wedding it fit! I was over joyed and looked pretty darn good.

So what I do then to loose 20 pounds? The soup diet. Just thinking about it makes me feel sick but it worked. It was basically a vegetable soup that Jeremy and I made every Sunday and ate for the whole week for dinner. Each night we would add some other ingredient to make it different and try to make it yummy. We ate light through out the day and always skipped desert. Every other Sunday we would go out to eat and order what ever we wanted which was nice because we could leave the soup at home. It wasn't easy for me then either. I felt hungry, sad, and grouchy at about 3 or 4 weeks in. I lost the excited feeling of how great it is going to be to loose weight and I started to feel deprived. I remember sitting on the couch with Jeremy feeling quite down and crying about how hungry and tired I was and how I was such a looser for missing regular food so much. Jeremy lovingly put some peanut butter on some saltine crackers for me as a snack and told me everything will be fine and that me feelings would go a way after my body got used to eating less. I made it though the diet and was working out in a kickboxing class and lost all the weight with out regaining it till I got pregnant 4 years later.

I have been feeling tired, hungry, and down again, I even cried today. And I'm encouraged to remember that I made it through once before and was able to keep the wight off before. I am hoping and praying that my body will adjust quickly and I can get out of this funk ASAP!

Jeremy has also recommended that I hold off on 5K training for now because I'm not on a training diet but a weight loss diet which is why I could be struggling now. I will start to train again once my diet and body are ready. Thank you Jeremy.

The pain, The horror, The indescribable saddens

My food has been cut. Apparently I'm just not cutting the muster. My starches have gone from 9-10 to 8. One starch is 1 slice of bread or 1/3 cup pasta type serving. I've gone from 7 down to six lean proteins which is one once of a lean meat. I know this doesn't sound like a lot of food but when your food intake has already been cut reducing it more is a big deal. I admit I'm bummed about having to eat less. When I signed up I thought sure, I'll give this a try and see if it works but what I've found out is that they are going to make sure it works. All I have to do is follow the rules and be compliant. It is a good thing I'm a loyal rule follower or else I would fall out of compliance all the time and be a very bad study subject. I need to pull myself up off the floor, wipe the tears from my cheek and the drool from my chin, and get a hold of myself. It is just food right? They are still giving me a healthy amount of calories which is now going to be 1600. I honestly don't know how that measures up to what people eat or a supposed to eat but I'm pretty sure there are some dinners at Olive Garden that contain that many calories in just one meal.

Yes I've been feeling hungry and look forward to my next meal or snack and no I haven't been satisfied. But, I signed up for this. I want to loose weight. I want the slim waist line that they are trying to get me too. I miss chocolate, snacking when I feel like it, cookies, ice cream, brownies, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, real syrup on my pancakes, eating when I want to instead of following a plan, THIS IS HARD! These are good changes I know but I don't think I was prepared for these changes, silly me.

W1D2 of the C25K complete!

One of my goals is to run. I want to first run a 5K and then work my way up to a 10K with hopes to make it to a half marathon. I'm sure I can make it to a 5K especially with this great plan and helpful site I found at http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml . I used to hate running. I would get a side ach, my knees would hurt, I would feel out of breath, and one of my feet would feel numb. This site gave me all kinds of great tips to help me overcome my chief complaints and gave me a great plan to get me to my 5K goal. W1D2 is week one day two. C25K is Couch to 5K. I felt great after this walk/run and very encouraged. I wonder what it would be like to run by myself because right now I'm pushing a 2 1/2 year old in a jogger and keeping a 4 1/2 year old with in talking distance while she rides her bike. I'm going to have to head out in the morning sometime and see how well I do when it is just me and my ipod.

Diet revisions.

In my nutrition class tonight we were told that some of us aren't loosing weight and will be cut down in our exchanges. She didn't tell us who it was and told us we would be getting e-mails by Friday letting us know how and were to reduce. I'm a little nervous. I am hungry some days but I did only loose a pound. SS says that 1-2 pounds a week is target so I'm hopping that I won't get my food cut.

I guess I'm not necessarily hungry just not satisfied. It is a weird feeling. I want to eat more but my tummy says "your full". I must be missing all the lovely sugar and fat I was accustomed to eating before. My nearly nightly ice cream, cookies, or brownies, giving them up has been noticeably different.

In class tonight SS talked about evening out through out the week. For example if you go over in one category one day then make up for it by going under for a few days after. This makes me feel like I can splurge and go eat a sugar cookie right now and just know that I will have to eat less fat and starches tomorrow. But then I worry about tomorrow. I may be happy for five minutes today but then I may be miserable tomorrow. I don't think I'll be giving this a go or if I do try I will eat less for a few days before I know I want to splurge like the birthday party I'm going to at the end of the month and the wedding next month. I figure that way I could see it as more of a reward then a punishment.

One pound a week is healthy weight loss. Oh, and I lost my underwear!

In all hilarity. In the beginning of this study the SS told us that we wouldn't be segregated in the Zumba class and nobody would know we were part of a study. I have all ready told you that we actually do stick out because of the separate card punch line and how we had to leave after 30 minutes the first week. Well today they singled us out once again. I'm not against all this singling out, I would even wear a tee-shirt advertising the study, but don't tell me nobody will know but then make it obvious. Tonight we had to weigh in at the Zumba class! We had to line up down the hall and into the bathroom and weigh in the handicap stall. Well if that isn't strange and obvious I don't know what is. People were wondering what is everybody doing in line and it is really funny but if people see people in a line they think they need to be in the line too and the SS told them it is only for the study participants. I think we should wear tee-shirts then maybe people wouldn't have to wonder what the heck is going on all the time.

So did I loose or didn't I loose?? According to the scale I lost one pound! I'm cool with one pound a week because at the end that means 16 pounds lost! I have also noticed my cloths fitting looser. I am excited and can't wait to see more results.

I put on my Zumba cloths a few hours before Zumba class including a sweater that I haven't worn in a month or so. Nothing against this sweater but it doesn't have pockets or a hood and I have been cold and want my pockets and hood. Well after our worm up I was ready to take of my sweater. I pulled the sweater up over my head and saw something falling to the floor. I reached down and caught what was falling and was very surprised and embarrassed to see my lacy black underwear that I haven't seen in a month or so. I tried best I could to walk over to my purse and tuck them into my purse. I have been wondering about those undies for a while and am clad they showed up but just not in Zumba class.

This reminds me of the seventh grade. I had two cute bras at that time and could only find one for the longest time. I had some other bras too but I was missing my other cute one. Seventh grade cute is white satin with pink trim, nothing fancy here ladies. Just like this evening, I was wearing a sweater I hadn't worn in a while and I find my cute bra in the sleeve of the sweater. I wasn't in Zumba class at that time but I was in Mrs. Burgs class in the 7th grade and you know how embarrassing everything is in the seventh grade. I think I did my best to tuck it into my backpack then. It might be time to start checking cloths more carefully when folding laundry.