Sorry

Sorry if you went to Zumba this morning expecting to see me shake my thing. I wasn't there because I'm not feeling well. There is no way I can get up at 5 in the morning to work out if I'm not feeling well. I just wouldn't be able to make it through the day if I did that. I know, I know, two Fridays in a row! Bad Jessica, Bad Jessica. I hope to be over this illness by tomorrow so I can get this show back on the road.

Still not feeling well

Last night at Zumba I wasn't feeling well to begin with and then of course somebody decided to stand right in front of me and then take my spot when I went to the bathroom. I really need to make sure I go to the bathroom before class in order to avoid all the spot stealing. I always go before I leave but sometimes with all the jumping around I need to go again. This whole space issue has really just struck a nerve with me and I seriously just need to let it go. I want to be able to just do my work out with out feeling ill feelings towards the person who has desired they need to stand entirely too close to me. I do admit I shot the woman unfriendly glares last night and she did move over a little bit but I found her creeping back into my space a few too many times. Seriously Jessica, get over it!

I am still not feeling well. I started getting a sore throat last night while sleeping and now I have a headache as well. This is even harder to do when you sick. Again here is an other typical Jessica quitting time but I press on.

I feel the need

to devour. To consume and devour. I'm not hungry just having these extreme cravings. I told my husband and he said, "do think that maybe it is because it is about that time of the month?" Ugh, men. Why does it always have to be about "that time of the month" with you? But I said, "humm, maybe your right."

Quiting time!

No, I'm not quitting but this is one of those time where I would quite if I was doing this all on my own. I missed a Zumba class and I got sick. In the past sickness has always ended up as quitting time for me. My first intent isn't just to give up and quit but I get sick, quite working out which gets me off schedule and then out of habit. Once out of habit, out of mind and it is all down hill from there. I am not going to quite this time and it feels good to know that I'm going to stay on track.

Today's eating was a struggle too. I wanted to stuff my face all day long! I don't know why or what triggered the feeling but man. I made a coffee crumb cake for small group at church and ate a few bites. I wanted to stuff myself full with the last 4 peices that were left. The cake was riding in the front seat next to me. I had the greatest urge to eat it with my hands while driving not caring about all the crumbs, looking like a pig, or over eating. I didn't do it. I didn't stuff my face but the urges to do so didn't subside till after dinner time. I hate this feeling. Usually when I get these urges I give in and go over bord till I'm feeling ill and gulity.

One thing that makes me feel ok about these feeling is that it makes me think that I might be on the verge of loosing more weight. I like to think that my body is craving lots of yummy fattening foods because it likes to keep to the wight it is and will send these signals to my brain for self preservation. So I hope that it's just because I burning fat. I can take comfort in these strong cravings knowing that it is because I'm accomplishing what I set out to do. But maybe that is a stretch.

FAQ's

I get a lot of questions so I thought I would do a FAQ section

What is this study trying to find out?

There are two groups in this study. One group is consuming 15% of their calories as protein and the other group is consuming 25% of their calories as protein. They are looking to see which group has better weight loss results and builds the most lean muscle mass.

Which group are you in?

I am in the 25% protein group. Part of being in that group in consuming a whey protein supplement which I chose to add to smoothies which I find is quite a yummy way to consume the protein powder. It has been difficult increasing my protein intake in general but I am becoming used to it and no longer find it challenging.

What does Zumba have to do with this study?

They want us doing a cardio work out for one hour 3 times a week in a group setting. They wanted it to a fun and easy work out that anybody can do. There is a woman in our community teaching Zumba who is supper motivational, fun, accepting, and perky. The study staff were able to contract with her. Zumba class has been fun and quite enjoyable and I am thinking I would like to continue the class after the study ends.

How long will this last?

I have completed 7 weeks so far and have 9 more to go.

Are you liking it?

Yes and no. It is a lot harder then I thought. I have had ups and downs. This is certainly pushing me past my self. If I was doing this on my own I would have quite two times by now but I am being held accountable by something much bigger then me.

Is Zumba 3 times a week all you have to do?

I wish, I have to do 45 minutes of cardio two days a week. That is right folks, 5 days a week of hard cardio exercise 45 to 60 minutes each. Yes it is tiring but I have adjusted and it is fine. The other two days I walk/run, do the elliptical, or a cardio video at home. These two days are harder then my Zumba days because it is harder to make the time to actually do the time.

Do you get any breaks?

No, there are no built in breaks it is a 16 week strait study. If however, something comes up and you have to miss a class that is fine but you have to make it up on a Saturday. The staff are quite understanding and kind. I missed Zumba on Friday morning because my daughter started throwing up at 3 a.m. on Thursday and didn't stop till 3 p.m. Thursday afternoon and I was just too exhausted to get up at 5 a.m. for my 5:30 work out, not to mention I was coming down with the illness my self. The staff were nice about it and told me to just take care of my daughter and my self.

48 minutes

After Josiah was born I read that walking for 48 minutes at a leisurely pace was a better fat burning workout then running for 20 minutes. I walked 3-4 days a week for 48 minutes each time and I lost 65 pounds in a year. The weight came off at that pound a week rate I was talking about earlier. While being in this study I have to do Zumba for 1 hour three times a week and 45 minutes of vigorous cardiovascular exercise two times a week. I wonder if I just walked for 48 minutes 5 days a week if I would be loosing more weight. Interesting that I was able to do better on my own with just walking and no dieting then having people help me, doing hard work outs, and dieting. I think I should do my own study. Group A will walk for 48 minutes at a leisurely pace with out any diet change while Group B busts their buns 5 days a week while on a reduced calorie diet. I truly am curious, who would loose the most weight? Granted when I lost the 65 pounds it was all the weight I gained while pregnant and I was breast feeding but I really do wonder.

fears

I only lost 1/2 a pound this last week. I think I have now lost 3 or 4 pounds in the 7 weeks I've been busting my buns. I just don't get it. In seven weeks I should have lost 7 to 14 pounds. Why oh why has it only been 3 or 4? Why am I so behind and what am I doing wrong? I look back and think...I don't think I have done anything wrong. I think I have done what has been asked of me and it would only make since that I would loose more weight then that. Think about it...No cookies, no ice cream, no cheese, no butter, eating way less calories, and working out 5 days a week. I used to eat all of those things and hardly ever exercise. True, I have lost inches, my body looks and feels better, and I am enjoying working out. But why oh why can't I drop the pounds??? I'm working hard on not letting that wicked scale get me down.

I'm am afraid of what is going to happen when this is all over. Will I totally pig out because I "can". Will the inches and pounds slowly creep back on because I've became "too busy" or lazy. How do I maintain what I've gained, or lost for that matter, when this all over. If I do gain it back will I ever be able to get it off? I have heard that your metabolism slows as you get older but gesh, I'm only 30. I want to be fit, thin, and strong. I hope I get there and don't go back it.

shoes, bra, space...

Update number 1. My new New Balance shoes are great. My feet didn't start to feel numb till about 35 mins into the work out and they worked out great for Zumba and going for walks. I am so happy with these shoes.

Update number 2. At Zumba today I forgot my sports bra! Class wasn't till 9:00 so I got dresses but didn't put on the sports bra because I didn't need it for making pancakes and thought I would just put it on before I left for class. I was running late and had to jet out of the house just in time to make it to class. I was jumping around during the warm up wondering what felt different or strange. Then I realize just a regular bra and no sports bra. If you don't know me then you might not understand why this would be a big deal for me but I'm a DD and no sports bra is a big deal. I will not be forgetting again and I did get some strange looks as I was jumping around with a handful of boobs each time. I realize this isn't necessarily an update with all the bra details but the space problem is. I just don't think I'm going to win this one. People are just going to be in my space and I'm just going to be annoyed while trying not to be. I will be good and try not to hit people.

Yesterday I went out for dinner with my husband and kids. We went to a Mexican restaurant and they brought yummy warm chips with salsa to our table. I knew what I eat and had planned ahead but I lost it. I ate several chips, had cheese on a fajita, had guacamole and a tiny bit of sour cream, and one extra tortilla then I should have. Oh, and I ate 3 out of the 4 chocolate mints they gave us with the check. Part of me was like, "well we already went over, why don't you get some desert and a margarita too." The other part of me was like, "well, maybe bulimia isn't such a bad idea as originally thought." My smart brain said, "Jessica, quit panicking. This is not a big deal, you only went over a little which is way better then going over a lot. You get to try again tomorrow, you have been doing great for 6 weeks lets not loose it all over one day. And, No your not going to make yourself throw up! That is totally gross and could start something horrible." I have these conversations with myself often. I'm feeling pretty good about yesterday and have had a good day thus far.

"Get out of my space!!" silently to my self.

In order to Zumba you need some space. You should be able to put your hands straight out and spin in a circle and not touch anybody else's spinning circle. I really enjoy my space and need my personal bubble and I don't want people, let alone sweaty people, in it.

Today at Zumba I claimed my space and was talking to the lady next to me how annoying it was when you have your space and then somebody comes in at the last minute and decides that they need to right next to you. Well, guess what happened to me tonight? Somebody came and stood right by me! Why would you think that it is ok to hog somebody's space? It gets worse. I had to go to the bathroom right after the warm up and when I come back she is right in my spot and looks at me totally annoyed when I come back to my space, like what am I doing in her space. Grrr.... I know this might sound petty but really there is room else where and you don't need to be right by me.

Still feeling good

It has been 5 days scene I chose to reduce my food intake to the lowest level the SS suggested for me. As you remember the first time I went down this low I basically fell apart and cried the whole time and went back up to where the originally had me. My fifth day now on the reduced diet and I'm still feeling great!!!

I am so happy to be feeling so good right now but still amazed at how hard it was to get to this point. I think some counseling should have come with this study. Being over weight isn't just due to lack of exercise, over eating, poor diet, and too many oreos. There is a mental health component that goes along with or life style and eating habits. In the beginning of this study I wouldn't have said that but now that I've been through the hard parts I know it is true.

Seven weeks ago I was trying my best to only eat one treat or sweet thing a day but often eating more then just one or two a day. Now I'm eating one or two a week. Before it seemed important to me to eat a large dinner and now I'm satisfied with a light dinner and not getting seconds. I'm still trying to figure out why it was so hard to make these changes (among other changes but these I found particularly hard). I found my self saying to myself, "but this is what I do, I always do this." Why did I mentally feel like and think that I HAD to have what I always had? And why was it so emotionally hard to change it and do something different? If I decide to take the stairs instead of the elevator, walk after work, or one of those other little exercise tips people always try to give you, you don't have an emotional reaction. Limit what you eat, when you eat, and how much you eat and you will get an emotional reaction. I think our food makes us feel secure and it does comfort us because it has from the very beginning. How do we love our babies, make them comfortable and secure? We feed them! Of course our food and our eating habits are comforting and securing. I think under it all I was feeling...I don't know...threatened...bullied...uncared for...pushed... I don't know perhaps I'm reaching trying to figure this experience out but I don't have a mental health professional to talk this out with only lucky you.

shoe problems

With all this working out I wanted a nice new pair of shoes. I bought a pair of Addida's which were nice looking and felt good on my feet. I left the tags on and took them for a 30 minute ride on the elliptical. My feet got numb after 15 minutes. This had happened to me in the past but hasn't happened in a while. I didn't want to deal with numb feet and it doesn't seem healthy so I took them back and bought a new pair. Yesterday I came home with a pair of Nike's. I wore them around the house for half the day and really like them but then I took them for a spin on the elliptical tonight. Numb feet after 25 minutes :-( I loosened the laces but it just didn't help. I hate being the difficult picky customer but I have to work out and I don't want my feet to be numb while I do it. I will be going back to the shoe store tomorrow to try out a pair of New Balance. If any of you have some suggestions on what to do about the numb feet I would love to hear it.

skinny jeans here I come.

I got my new scale via UPS a few days ago. Of course I instantly gain five pounds because my old scale was so kind to me but it is good to live in reality. While I haven't lost any pounds, at all, which is disappointing, I have lost inches and I can see my body changing! I am able to fit into cloths that had gotten much to snug! I am excited because I get to wear a cute dress on Friday for a wedding I'm going to and with out these inches lost it wouldn't have fit. So yeah for me!

I do however, want to loose pounds so I have reduced my eating back down to where it was when I had that hard week a few weeks ago. Today was the first day and I feel great. I drank 1 1/2 cups of coffee this morning and I think it make quite a difference because I wasn't crabby, hungry, or tired all day and I was able to bust my buns in Zumba 2 hours ago. Coffee may be key.

I also think that my body and mind have finally adjusted to the new diet and routine, I no longer feel deprived. I'm no longer experiencing the intense sugar cravings, and I am no longer singing when I pass the Oreos in the store. I feel more in control and that is a good feeling. Have any of you ever watched the Seinfeld episode where George eats the partially eaten eclair out of the trash? He sees the eclair, pulls it out of the trash and takes a bite, getting caught of course! Here is a link to the video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGHTcF4thLw you will have to copy and paste it, I can't make it work. Any who, it doesn't show what drove George to take a bit. What did drive him to take a bite? I think it was that out of control gotta have sugar feeling where I have been many times. No, I have never eaten out of the trash but I have been in a place in the past were I was desperately driven to satisfy a craving. I am so grateful I have moved past that place. I have been on the diet for a month and am finally feeling better and it is a huge relief.