Jessica, Where have you been?

I know I know I know. I haven't blogged in about a month. I typically write at night after the kids go to bed but with boot camp I had to go to bed early in order to make in up by 5 or 5:30. How was boot camp you ask? Intinse! I haven't worked that hard in like, ever. I apreciate what I am now capable of and that I was able to push myself that hard. Honestly I feel I could go even harder still. I made great gains phyicicaly, I didn't loose a single pound but I did loose inches and tone up quite a bit. Hello size 10 jeans and size 8 dress!!

I was even running, RUNNING! It used to be that I would have to stop running because I just couldn't breath but now I have to stop because my muscles are tired but I can breath. Uhm, running. In high school I picked two sports, cheerleading and golf, both of which didn't require running. Honestly running scared me and I never thought I would be able to but I did always carry a desire to be a runner. I would admire people who ran, they looked so free, fit and energized. I longed to be a runner but was always afraid to try. Well ladies, I am running. Am I a runner? I don't know but I do enjoy jogging and I have been going on longer and longer runs each time. I am feeling the freedom and that runners high you hear real runners talking about. Yeh, I'm excited.

So what to do now? I would love to do boot camp again but it is spendy and I can't justify it. Seriously I can run around town for free. I am hoping I have gained enough discipline, knowledge, and stamina to keep going all on my own. Can I run and do the other work outs that we were doing in boot camp? My brain says, "yes silly, it is easy." My lazy side says, "no, of course not, you need somebody to make you." Do I or have I turned a new leaf and am now able to push myself just for me? I know I can push my self just for me.

Also, please send me any ideas, tricks, or tips to help me keep going. I am of course still a little chubby, a battle I hope to conquer.

Survived week one

What did week one consist of you ask?

Monday - Cardio Kick boxing and conditioning
Tuesday - Circuit training
Wednesday - Running stairs at the parking garage
Thursday - Running hills
Friday - no instructor but required to work out, I hiked Bald Hill (packing a 30 pound kid up half of it) and ran after two kids on bikes
Saturday - again no instructor, I ran 2 miles and walked 1/2 a mile while my daughter rode her bike.

What do I have to show after a week of intensity? I lost 1 1/2 inches around my middle! The darn scale won't budge but I did loose inches once again. I'm not sure what it is going to take to get that scale to move. If it doesn't move by then end of this boot camp ordeal then I'm sure nothing will ever get it to. Except maybe lypo. There is a road I haven't taken yet.

So far so good

I have been able to keep up thus far. One day of kick boxing, running, and abs and on day of circuit training (ouch). I haven't quite and it is intense. Tomorrow we do stairs. This is going to hurt.

New adventure starts tomorrow

I took the week end off. I wasn't feeling well and needed a break. No I didn't pig out and I didn't eat a bunch of junk. I ate well but didn't focus on making sure I ate all the exchanges or calories I was supposed to in the right carb/protein/fat ratio. I even went out to eat and to a birthday party and was very successful making good choices and feeling good about those choices and not feeling deprived. It felt great to feel so in control, to eat what I needed and wanted with out over doing it or feeling like I was being driven by those cravings I used to have and thankfully only occasionally pop up in less intensity.

Tomorrow it is cardio kick boxing at 5:30 am. Humm...... I'm excited, nervous, scared, and a little worried. I am excited to see my body change even more, to loose some more weight, to get into better shape and be able to run that 5K I have been dreaming about. I am scared, nervous, and worried about not being able to keep up, working really hard and not having anything to show for it, getting hurt, and being a weakling. I have never been a very physically fit person but have always wanted to be. Seriously I am having some junior high and high school anxieties based on scares left behind for PE, all of which are emotional. This is probably why I'm working so hard at 30 instead of just being one of those fit people because PE wasn't fun. It stressed me out, embarrassed me, and made me feel like a looser. Hum... I have some major issues to work out with Mr. Perkins, Mrs. Sanders, and Mrs. Caps.

159, 159, 159 woo-hoo

need I say more!

A new look for a new phase.

I thought I would change things up a bit.

A little all over the place

I am almost all done with my post testing. I have completed my fitness test and my dexa scan. All I have left is my blood test and I can't stop doing the diet or the exercise plan till the blood draw is complete. Once they have compiled all the info they will mail it to me or I can arrange an appointment to go over my results. I am pretty excited to find out how much my body changed other then how I look or what the scale tells me. The scale tells me I lost 6 pound. Yep through out this entire experience I only lost 6 pounds. I have a range of feelings about these 6 pounds but ultimately I am glad for what I was able to do.

Really I just lost all the rest of the "new" fat. The fat that I put on more recently with in the last 5-8 years. Now it is time to work on the "old" fat. This fat has been around since puberty. I have 10 pounds to loose to get to that ever famed high school weight. Why do we do that? Why is what I weighed at 18 supposed to be my goal now? When I did my post nutritional appointment the SS asked me what I plan to do. I told her I want to loose 10 more pounds for sure which I think is very doable and will be a good weight for me. She said that while loosing 10 more pounds would be good it would be even better to loose 15 pounds. What I wanted to hear was how well I did, it was such hard work, blah, blah, blah. But what I got was drop an other 15 pounds. Needles to say I didn't appreciate it but ok, it is the truth.

But, no, really? I NEED to loose an other 15 pounds? What if I like how I look now and am happy here? Honestly I am excited to do boot camp and see how I look in an other 4 weeks but what is the matter with how I look now? I think I look pretty darn good! I don't need some 125 pound college girl telling me I should loose 15 pounds, I just don't.

I am excited however, because the scale looks like it is going down again after being quite stuck. I have also suddenly been hungry again which tells me I am about to loose weight again. I am still following my eating plan which has plenty of food in it so don't worry I'm not starving.

Sorry for all the randomness but I have been feeling a little all over the place in case you couldn't tell.

Ahh! This is my official last week!

I can't believe it is over. It seemed like it was going to take forever but is almost over. I was spending quite a bit of time trying to figure out what I was going to do next. I'm certainly not going to just quite and go back to the way I used to be but I wasn't sure what to do until last week. I'm doing Bikini Boot Camp!

What is Bikini Boot Camp and do you have to wear a bikini? No, thank goodness I will not need to wear a bikini but according to Amy (awesome fitness instructor) I just might want to once I'm done. Well dear Amy, I'm pretty darn sure I will NEVER want to wear a bikini thanks to my first pregnancy but it will sure be nice to loose even more weight and get into bikini shape. I think this will be great because I will be working with a small group of women some of which I know and are friends so there will be the accountability and comradery that I have found very beneficial and it is going to be a fairly intense work out with Amy as our personal trainer. Honestly I'm both scared and excited. I think I should buy some ice pack and ibuprofen in order to be fully prepared for the first week of class at least.

Amy is also going to looking over our food plans and I'm interested to see if she will be making any changes in what the study staff have been having me eat. I'm still disappointed that I didn't make as much progress as I had hoped but like I said earlier progress is progress I'm so great full for have been a part of the study but I am also so excited to take it a step farther and achieve what I set out to accomplish.

I know a lot of you have been working on loosing weight and getting fit and I encourage you to keep it up and not quite even if your not getting the results you desire because the results will come eventually but they surly won't come if you quite.

And for those who have been asking, Yes, I will continue to blog about my weight loss journey at least through boot camp and then we will see after that. I might just be too busy all summer long running around in my bikini.

I lost 3 pounds

Sure I spent all day yesterday throwing up and in bed but progress is progress right?

It will soon come to an end

I just don't know what to think about it all ending. I have been part of something huge and am really going to miss all of the accountability and comradery. I know they are going to help me come up with a plan for continuing weigh loss if I choose or help me maintain what I'v accomplished but I'm nervous to be released out on my own.

I do know what I'm not going to do.
I'm not going to pig out
I'm not going to park my butt on a couch and watch all the pounds slowly come back
I'm not going to go back to my old way of eating
I'm NOT gaining this weight back and
I'm not stopping here

I want to loose more weight. I haven't achieved my wight loss goals yet and I still have more work to do. I had such a hard start in the beginning and feel like I wasted a whole month with out any weight loss and could have achieved more. Am disappointed in myself? Slightly. I have been given such a great opportunity and fear I didn't take full advantage. Hmmm. I did learn a ton and have really made huge gains. I am so grateful to have gotten this opportunity and am actually sad that this is the last month.

Gluten Free is me

I have been gluten free for 5 days. I feel quite better. Some of my typical stomach problems that I have had for ever seem to have subsided but the most amazing thing is the reduced cravings!

I'm sure you have read on my previous posts how I struggled with intense cravings. I would crave anything sugary and carb loaded. I haven't had a single craving sense Tuesday. I'm hoping this isn't just a strange fluck. If giving up gluten is all it takes to take care of the cravings I'll take it. Being gluten free thus far hasn't been too hard and I'm having fun trying out new things. This morning I made pancakes just as I always do on Saturday morning and they were fantastic. I admit the texture is a bit different but yummy nun-the-less. I can imagine that being gluten free could have it's challenges especially when going out to eat or having dinner at at a friend's house but so far so good. Maybe it will even help me loose more weight. We shall see.

It was a blast

Zumba tonight was packed with sweaty ladies. My sister Birdie came and my friend Lee-Ann. I think they had a good time and so did I. I would share more but I am having to type with one hand because my other hand it holding the power cord into the back of the computer.

Gluten free is going well by the way and I think I'm feeling staingly slightly better. I made a tasty gluten free lasagna tonight and no body knew but me;-)

Come zumba with me

for free this Wednesday night at 6:00.

Also I wanted to let you all know that I am feeling much better and I am still waiting on some lab results. So far I have been told that I have chronic inflammation and vasculitis. I need to get to the root of all the inflammation and find out what is causing it. I'm making some diet changes this month like eliminating gluten, coffee, and adding more omega 3's. These changes are supposedly going to help with inflammation, we shall see. My Dr. is also still checking to see if it is an autoimmune condition that is causing all of this. I am hoping and praying that the inflammation calms down because it can lead to stroke, anurism, heart disease, renal failure, diabetes, and arthritis non of which sound exciting. Hopefully we will get to the bottom of this soon. Sounds fun doesn't it...

Tonight I was the annoying girl.

I wasn't late to Zumba because she hadn't started instructing yet but I was late enough to have no spot. I had to slip in between rows and try to make myself a spot. One of the girls in front of me was not pleased. She gave me those same looks I have given those ladies that stand in an obvious non-spot but think it is ok. Now I think I might just have to give them all a little slack. When there is no other spots left you just have to go ahead and make your self one. Seriously the gal in front of me glared and when I smiled she just glared some more. At least I know what her problem was and I will try not to be "late" again.

A new low

160! Woohoohoo!!!

I just can't wait to get into those 150s.

So what is going on with me?

As of right now no body really knows. I have had blood taken 5 times, a chest x-ray, a foot x-ray, an EKG, and will be in for an echo cardiogram Wednesday. It all started with what has appeared to be blood clots in my toes that actually became quite painful. My Dr. took me off my birth control pill and has placed me on aspirin. Spring break was miserable and I missed 1 or 2 workouts because of the pain and being flat out exhausted.

I decide I'm not going to let this get me down. I'm going to continue with the study and do my best to keep pushing myself at the work outs with out hurting myself. I zumbad today, I was able to complete the work out but I didn't have the same amount of energy as I had two weeks ago but I made it through.

I still have some more blood work that needs to come back and hopefully we will get to the bottom of what is going on with me. Right now the test are telling us that I have chronic inflammation of the blood or vascular system and they are trying to find out why I'm so inflamed. I am considering going gluten free for a month and seeing if it makes a difference, this isn't a Dr.'s suggestion just something I'm curious about based on stuff I have read and heard from a friend of mine. Other possibilities they are looking at is lupus, a blood infection, or just problems with the birth control pill. Hopefully we will get some answers and a plan of action soon.

Thank you for everybody's support and prayers while I've been down.

Half the day at the Dr.'s

My health has taken a sudden nose dive. I have had clotting in my toes for the three or four years with on and off again with a hand full of other symptoms. I started feeling a lot of pain in my toes last Friday and have been to the Dr. three times sense then. I have had three different blood draws each filling several tubes and even a few bottles. I am exhausted, my food hurts so badly it is keeping me awake at night, and I'm feeling emotionally drained.

I have missed two work outs now and fear I may not be able to fully participate with the exercise requirements of this study.

no Zumba today

but instead we had the option of running or walking. I chose running. I'm not sure it was the best idea. I said I was slow and they said, "its ok, so are we". So I decided ok, I will go with the running group. They may have been slow compared to an Olympian. I ran and I ran and I ran. I have never ran so far with out stopping in my whole life. I am a little proud of myself but man I am so sore. I wanted to stop but I didn't want to get left behind so I ran from Fredie's to Albertson's. Now I don't know how far that is and it isn't far when you drive but it felt far and I am proud of the distance. I need to drive it and see just how far it is. I then walked and ended up walking quite a bit by my self because I took a short cut on my own and then met up with the Olympic runners back on the original path. One other woman decided that she was more of a run/walker so we ran/walked the rest of the way and the other three went running up a few hills and then met us back at Fredie's. That may be too much detail but what ever, I don't think my brain is fully functioning because I haven't recovered from the run even though it was over 2 hours ago. I guess I should run more especially if I plan on doing a 5K next month.

woohoo back to 161!

The week is looking much better. We all have clean cloths and clean bodies. Thank you Lord for a working washing machine and a hot water heater! Something else did break though. My blinder! I got my blender as a wedding gift almost 10 years ago. I haven't used it much through out the years but I have used it almost every day since the 1st of the year. The good news is that it is reparable. I just ordered the new part on line and it should be here next week. I really hope my blinder will continue making smoothies till the new part comes. I guess you know your doing good when your marriage is outlasting your wedding gifts. All that stuff we got 10 years ago is beginning to show it's age but we my friends are still going strong, although, we have aged as well.

Yes, I'm back to my lowest of 161 thank you very much. Some of you suggest I stop weighing my self and I think this is solid advise but I will choose to ignore it for now. I will weigh my self every morning after I pee and in the nude. Sorry I just can't stop and I want to witness the very first moment I get into the 150's.

I made a strawberry rhubarb pie

And I feel like eating the whole second half all by my self. Not because I feel the uncontrolable urge to satisfy a craving but because I feel the need to wallow in my own pathetic self pitty. I have working washing machine, yhey! I still have no hot water, boo! I still haven't gotten back down to 161, what did she just reveil her weight?!? Yes, the lowest I have gotten down to is 161 and then I gained again. If only I could break under the 160 mark. I haven't been under 160 in about 10 years which is why it must be so hard and my body is just fighting it like crazy. Sigh...

Pull up a chair, some bread, and cheese because it is time for some wine.

Sorry, not the lovely liquid in a tall stemmed glass but the kind where I grip a little but try to see the up side in things. Hold on tight because this one is a dozy and if your not into wine, well then don't read, you've been forewarned.

About a week and a half ago my washer was leaking water which was going into the closet and into the garage and well, making quite a mess. I turned it off drained it and called Home Depot. Thankfully it is still under warranty and they were able to send a sweet old man to come take a look at the very next day. Bad news, it needs parts, worse news, they won't be in for 7-10 days, even worse news, won't be able to fix it till 5 days after parts come in due to a busy schedule. OK...deep breath...good news still under warrenty. Everything will be fine. I have two small children and a husband. We need a washer every day! I Have been reading Little House on the Prairie which gives me some sort of mad poinier ideas and well if Ma can wash her cloths in a tub after hauling water from the creek what is stopping me from washing my cloths? I have water in my house and I have a bath tub. Yes, I filled my bath tub with water and some essential clothing items. I put on my capri length excersise pants and walked around in my wet soapy cloths for a total of 45 minutes which includes 1 wash and 2 rinses. I pressed all the water out by basically doing lunges in the tub and hauled all the laundry to the dryer that still works thank you very much. I did this once more and decided that scene it did take 45 minutes and made me sweat that it must count for a work out and so it was my work out for the day. My washer is supposed to be fixed tomorrow but if it isn't back into the tub I will go because it is time to wash 2 more loads of essentials.

We were out of the house this morning visiting a friend and going to the dentist. I promised the kids we would go to the park because it was such a lovely day just as soon as we got home. We get home and I walk out to the garage and find myself standing in a puddle. I kid you not, the hot water heater has water bubbling up out of the hose attachments and spilling over the top of the unit and running down to the floor. Ahhh!!! Why, Why, Why! I am living in appliance Hell! I'm assuming I'm not the only one that has a bunch of boxes of stuff, golf clubs, shoes, strollers, tools, and a big box of empty soda cans stacked in the garage right next to the hot water heater. If you don't have this sort of situation at your house good for you, when your hot water heater spews water you won't have to move all this junk as quickly as humanly possible in an effort to save anything and everything. I turned on a movie for the kids and got to work, serous work. I moved everything out of the way and cut off the insulation blanket from around the unit which, once removed I found water basically dripping and running from every where on that water heater. I drug the soaking wet insulation out to the drive way and then began moping. I have never mopped my garage before and it was gross. Are you supposed to mop a garage? It has a concreat floor. Any ways, I am sopping up water as quick as I can and laying out towels to keep the water out of the play room where it has already left a big puddle in the carpet right by the door. I dump out one bucket full just to find all the progress I had made unrecognizable. I just couldn't keep up with all the water. My husband was on his way home and figured out how to turn off the water just as I had started trying to drain the tank with a hose and bucket. I did this for an hour was beat. My arms ached and I was half way laughing because it just figures.

I told the kids to get their shoes on and we head to the park one on my back, two in the stroller, and one on a bike (I was watching two other children.) We quickly walked/road 1/2 a mile to the park, play for 20 mins, and quickly walk back. I am so tired at this point but I have to get ready for Zumba.

I am seriously considering not going to Zumba at this point. Seriously, I just mopped and hauled water for an hour and then walked a mile with a kid on my back and pushing 60 pounds in a stroller on a power walk. But I have my Zumba commitment so I will go and tonight is weigh in and I have busted my rear all day so the scale must have something kind to say.

I gained 3 1/2 pounds!!! What! Could this day be any more, well, hum, @#%$&y?!?!?!
I talked to the SS about this and she thinks it is the cheese I had on my pizza. I normally don't eat cheese and she thinks it has made me bloated and made me retain water. I think she is right because my tummy didn't appreciate all the dairy and it let me know it quite loudly later in the day.

Deep breath.....Tomorrow my washer should be fixed, Tomorrow my husband is installing a new hot water heater, and lets see how I do this week while avoiding cheese at all costs.

A toast, for a better week to come. (clink)

Self Pep talk

I am in control

Everything counts, every single bite

155

move your butt

push it

make your body work hard

it isn't supposed to be easy

eat breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner; everything else is habit and no needed

it is OK to feel uncomfortable

I know, I know

Sorry I haven't posted in a few days especially since I said I would the day after my last post. I was annoyed that I didn't have great news to share so I put it off till now. Good news, I didn't gain a single pound over the Thanksgiving/Christmas holidays. Your wondering what does this have to do with us now 3 months later? Well my initial weigh in right when I signed up for the study was a week before Thanksgiving. I forgot what I weighed at that time and was wondering if I was just working off what ever it was that I gained over the holidays. So I was excited to find out that everything that I have lost has really been a loss.

At my appointment I weighed in and have lost 4 pounds total. 4 pounds! The study is half way over and I have only lost 4 pounds. I really was hoping for 10 by now. The good news is is that 4 pounds has made a surprising difference in how I look and even feel about how I look. I have lost an inch in my waist and and inch on my hips. I can easily fit into cloths that were too tight before and have to lay some others to rest because they have become too big. Humm....just imagine what a difference 10 pounds would make.....

I have realized that I am in an excersise slump and am not pushing myself as much as I should. I have gotten to the point where what I'm doing has become comfortable because my body has adjusted and gotten stronger. I need to push myself into the uncomfortable zone. It will be easier now that I'm finally feeling better from all this sickness that has gone around in my home. I think this is the 3rd or 4th week of sickness and still not 100% but I think I'm well enough now to push a little harder.

Sadly I still struggle with just leaving all the sweet foods alone. I made a cake for a memorial service yesterday and took the left over cake home. It has been calling me all day and called me all yesterday too. I had a small slice and accounted for it in my tracking book but man, I really wanted to eat half the thing. I still hold onto that mentality that if it is there I should just hurry up and eat it instead of tormenting myself for the next few days. I have discovered really need a new way of thinking. I have also discovered that any time I feel uncomfortable I want to eat. Interesting. Who knew I had so many food issues? Not me.

Ups and downs

I really felt like I blew it this weekend. I over ate both days:-( I didn't mean too but one chocolate cookie easily turned into 4 and 5 single m&ms turned in to 5 handfuls. The next day I thought I was eating fat free hot dogs so I had two but they weren't and I are 5 1/2 fat exchanges in one meal when I'm only allowed 3 in a day. Needless to say I was feeling like a big fat looser and was quite nervous about tonight's weigh in. These weigh-ins stress me out. Normally I'm not too concerned about what I eat or weigh. If I'm not careful this study is going to give me a complex or eating disorder.

Well, surprisingly, I still lost weight! I'm getting closer and closer to entering into the 150's. I just can't wait. Tonight's work out was great. I'm finally feeling better and it felt good to sweat. Tomorrow I have my monthly one-on-one with the Study Staff and will be weighed and measured again. I am curious to find out how many pounds I have lost and how many inches I have lost. I will share the results with you all tomorrow.

Sorry

Sorry if you went to Zumba this morning expecting to see me shake my thing. I wasn't there because I'm not feeling well. There is no way I can get up at 5 in the morning to work out if I'm not feeling well. I just wouldn't be able to make it through the day if I did that. I know, I know, two Fridays in a row! Bad Jessica, Bad Jessica. I hope to be over this illness by tomorrow so I can get this show back on the road.

Still not feeling well

Last night at Zumba I wasn't feeling well to begin with and then of course somebody decided to stand right in front of me and then take my spot when I went to the bathroom. I really need to make sure I go to the bathroom before class in order to avoid all the spot stealing. I always go before I leave but sometimes with all the jumping around I need to go again. This whole space issue has really just struck a nerve with me and I seriously just need to let it go. I want to be able to just do my work out with out feeling ill feelings towards the person who has desired they need to stand entirely too close to me. I do admit I shot the woman unfriendly glares last night and she did move over a little bit but I found her creeping back into my space a few too many times. Seriously Jessica, get over it!

I am still not feeling well. I started getting a sore throat last night while sleeping and now I have a headache as well. This is even harder to do when you sick. Again here is an other typical Jessica quitting time but I press on.

I feel the need

to devour. To consume and devour. I'm not hungry just having these extreme cravings. I told my husband and he said, "do think that maybe it is because it is about that time of the month?" Ugh, men. Why does it always have to be about "that time of the month" with you? But I said, "humm, maybe your right."

Quiting time!

No, I'm not quitting but this is one of those time where I would quite if I was doing this all on my own. I missed a Zumba class and I got sick. In the past sickness has always ended up as quitting time for me. My first intent isn't just to give up and quit but I get sick, quite working out which gets me off schedule and then out of habit. Once out of habit, out of mind and it is all down hill from there. I am not going to quite this time and it feels good to know that I'm going to stay on track.

Today's eating was a struggle too. I wanted to stuff my face all day long! I don't know why or what triggered the feeling but man. I made a coffee crumb cake for small group at church and ate a few bites. I wanted to stuff myself full with the last 4 peices that were left. The cake was riding in the front seat next to me. I had the greatest urge to eat it with my hands while driving not caring about all the crumbs, looking like a pig, or over eating. I didn't do it. I didn't stuff my face but the urges to do so didn't subside till after dinner time. I hate this feeling. Usually when I get these urges I give in and go over bord till I'm feeling ill and gulity.

One thing that makes me feel ok about these feeling is that it makes me think that I might be on the verge of loosing more weight. I like to think that my body is craving lots of yummy fattening foods because it likes to keep to the wight it is and will send these signals to my brain for self preservation. So I hope that it's just because I burning fat. I can take comfort in these strong cravings knowing that it is because I'm accomplishing what I set out to do. But maybe that is a stretch.

FAQ's

I get a lot of questions so I thought I would do a FAQ section

What is this study trying to find out?

There are two groups in this study. One group is consuming 15% of their calories as protein and the other group is consuming 25% of their calories as protein. They are looking to see which group has better weight loss results and builds the most lean muscle mass.

Which group are you in?

I am in the 25% protein group. Part of being in that group in consuming a whey protein supplement which I chose to add to smoothies which I find is quite a yummy way to consume the protein powder. It has been difficult increasing my protein intake in general but I am becoming used to it and no longer find it challenging.

What does Zumba have to do with this study?

They want us doing a cardio work out for one hour 3 times a week in a group setting. They wanted it to a fun and easy work out that anybody can do. There is a woman in our community teaching Zumba who is supper motivational, fun, accepting, and perky. The study staff were able to contract with her. Zumba class has been fun and quite enjoyable and I am thinking I would like to continue the class after the study ends.

How long will this last?

I have completed 7 weeks so far and have 9 more to go.

Are you liking it?

Yes and no. It is a lot harder then I thought. I have had ups and downs. This is certainly pushing me past my self. If I was doing this on my own I would have quite two times by now but I am being held accountable by something much bigger then me.

Is Zumba 3 times a week all you have to do?

I wish, I have to do 45 minutes of cardio two days a week. That is right folks, 5 days a week of hard cardio exercise 45 to 60 minutes each. Yes it is tiring but I have adjusted and it is fine. The other two days I walk/run, do the elliptical, or a cardio video at home. These two days are harder then my Zumba days because it is harder to make the time to actually do the time.

Do you get any breaks?

No, there are no built in breaks it is a 16 week strait study. If however, something comes up and you have to miss a class that is fine but you have to make it up on a Saturday. The staff are quite understanding and kind. I missed Zumba on Friday morning because my daughter started throwing up at 3 a.m. on Thursday and didn't stop till 3 p.m. Thursday afternoon and I was just too exhausted to get up at 5 a.m. for my 5:30 work out, not to mention I was coming down with the illness my self. The staff were nice about it and told me to just take care of my daughter and my self.

48 minutes

After Josiah was born I read that walking for 48 minutes at a leisurely pace was a better fat burning workout then running for 20 minutes. I walked 3-4 days a week for 48 minutes each time and I lost 65 pounds in a year. The weight came off at that pound a week rate I was talking about earlier. While being in this study I have to do Zumba for 1 hour three times a week and 45 minutes of vigorous cardiovascular exercise two times a week. I wonder if I just walked for 48 minutes 5 days a week if I would be loosing more weight. Interesting that I was able to do better on my own with just walking and no dieting then having people help me, doing hard work outs, and dieting. I think I should do my own study. Group A will walk for 48 minutes at a leisurely pace with out any diet change while Group B busts their buns 5 days a week while on a reduced calorie diet. I truly am curious, who would loose the most weight? Granted when I lost the 65 pounds it was all the weight I gained while pregnant and I was breast feeding but I really do wonder.

fears

I only lost 1/2 a pound this last week. I think I have now lost 3 or 4 pounds in the 7 weeks I've been busting my buns. I just don't get it. In seven weeks I should have lost 7 to 14 pounds. Why oh why has it only been 3 or 4? Why am I so behind and what am I doing wrong? I look back and think...I don't think I have done anything wrong. I think I have done what has been asked of me and it would only make since that I would loose more weight then that. Think about it...No cookies, no ice cream, no cheese, no butter, eating way less calories, and working out 5 days a week. I used to eat all of those things and hardly ever exercise. True, I have lost inches, my body looks and feels better, and I am enjoying working out. But why oh why can't I drop the pounds??? I'm working hard on not letting that wicked scale get me down.

I'm am afraid of what is going to happen when this is all over. Will I totally pig out because I "can". Will the inches and pounds slowly creep back on because I've became "too busy" or lazy. How do I maintain what I've gained, or lost for that matter, when this all over. If I do gain it back will I ever be able to get it off? I have heard that your metabolism slows as you get older but gesh, I'm only 30. I want to be fit, thin, and strong. I hope I get there and don't go back it.

shoes, bra, space...

Update number 1. My new New Balance shoes are great. My feet didn't start to feel numb till about 35 mins into the work out and they worked out great for Zumba and going for walks. I am so happy with these shoes.

Update number 2. At Zumba today I forgot my sports bra! Class wasn't till 9:00 so I got dresses but didn't put on the sports bra because I didn't need it for making pancakes and thought I would just put it on before I left for class. I was running late and had to jet out of the house just in time to make it to class. I was jumping around during the warm up wondering what felt different or strange. Then I realize just a regular bra and no sports bra. If you don't know me then you might not understand why this would be a big deal for me but I'm a DD and no sports bra is a big deal. I will not be forgetting again and I did get some strange looks as I was jumping around with a handful of boobs each time. I realize this isn't necessarily an update with all the bra details but the space problem is. I just don't think I'm going to win this one. People are just going to be in my space and I'm just going to be annoyed while trying not to be. I will be good and try not to hit people.

Yesterday I went out for dinner with my husband and kids. We went to a Mexican restaurant and they brought yummy warm chips with salsa to our table. I knew what I eat and had planned ahead but I lost it. I ate several chips, had cheese on a fajita, had guacamole and a tiny bit of sour cream, and one extra tortilla then I should have. Oh, and I ate 3 out of the 4 chocolate mints they gave us with the check. Part of me was like, "well we already went over, why don't you get some desert and a margarita too." The other part of me was like, "well, maybe bulimia isn't such a bad idea as originally thought." My smart brain said, "Jessica, quit panicking. This is not a big deal, you only went over a little which is way better then going over a lot. You get to try again tomorrow, you have been doing great for 6 weeks lets not loose it all over one day. And, No your not going to make yourself throw up! That is totally gross and could start something horrible." I have these conversations with myself often. I'm feeling pretty good about yesterday and have had a good day thus far.

"Get out of my space!!" silently to my self.

In order to Zumba you need some space. You should be able to put your hands straight out and spin in a circle and not touch anybody else's spinning circle. I really enjoy my space and need my personal bubble and I don't want people, let alone sweaty people, in it.

Today at Zumba I claimed my space and was talking to the lady next to me how annoying it was when you have your space and then somebody comes in at the last minute and decides that they need to right next to you. Well, guess what happened to me tonight? Somebody came and stood right by me! Why would you think that it is ok to hog somebody's space? It gets worse. I had to go to the bathroom right after the warm up and when I come back she is right in my spot and looks at me totally annoyed when I come back to my space, like what am I doing in her space. Grrr.... I know this might sound petty but really there is room else where and you don't need to be right by me.

Still feeling good

It has been 5 days scene I chose to reduce my food intake to the lowest level the SS suggested for me. As you remember the first time I went down this low I basically fell apart and cried the whole time and went back up to where the originally had me. My fifth day now on the reduced diet and I'm still feeling great!!!

I am so happy to be feeling so good right now but still amazed at how hard it was to get to this point. I think some counseling should have come with this study. Being over weight isn't just due to lack of exercise, over eating, poor diet, and too many oreos. There is a mental health component that goes along with or life style and eating habits. In the beginning of this study I wouldn't have said that but now that I've been through the hard parts I know it is true.

Seven weeks ago I was trying my best to only eat one treat or sweet thing a day but often eating more then just one or two a day. Now I'm eating one or two a week. Before it seemed important to me to eat a large dinner and now I'm satisfied with a light dinner and not getting seconds. I'm still trying to figure out why it was so hard to make these changes (among other changes but these I found particularly hard). I found my self saying to myself, "but this is what I do, I always do this." Why did I mentally feel like and think that I HAD to have what I always had? And why was it so emotionally hard to change it and do something different? If I decide to take the stairs instead of the elevator, walk after work, or one of those other little exercise tips people always try to give you, you don't have an emotional reaction. Limit what you eat, when you eat, and how much you eat and you will get an emotional reaction. I think our food makes us feel secure and it does comfort us because it has from the very beginning. How do we love our babies, make them comfortable and secure? We feed them! Of course our food and our eating habits are comforting and securing. I think under it all I was feeling...I don't know...threatened...bullied...uncared for...pushed... I don't know perhaps I'm reaching trying to figure this experience out but I don't have a mental health professional to talk this out with only lucky you.

shoe problems

With all this working out I wanted a nice new pair of shoes. I bought a pair of Addida's which were nice looking and felt good on my feet. I left the tags on and took them for a 30 minute ride on the elliptical. My feet got numb after 15 minutes. This had happened to me in the past but hasn't happened in a while. I didn't want to deal with numb feet and it doesn't seem healthy so I took them back and bought a new pair. Yesterday I came home with a pair of Nike's. I wore them around the house for half the day and really like them but then I took them for a spin on the elliptical tonight. Numb feet after 25 minutes :-( I loosened the laces but it just didn't help. I hate being the difficult picky customer but I have to work out and I don't want my feet to be numb while I do it. I will be going back to the shoe store tomorrow to try out a pair of New Balance. If any of you have some suggestions on what to do about the numb feet I would love to hear it.

skinny jeans here I come.

I got my new scale via UPS a few days ago. Of course I instantly gain five pounds because my old scale was so kind to me but it is good to live in reality. While I haven't lost any pounds, at all, which is disappointing, I have lost inches and I can see my body changing! I am able to fit into cloths that had gotten much to snug! I am excited because I get to wear a cute dress on Friday for a wedding I'm going to and with out these inches lost it wouldn't have fit. So yeah for me!

I do however, want to loose pounds so I have reduced my eating back down to where it was when I had that hard week a few weeks ago. Today was the first day and I feel great. I drank 1 1/2 cups of coffee this morning and I think it make quite a difference because I wasn't crabby, hungry, or tired all day and I was able to bust my buns in Zumba 2 hours ago. Coffee may be key.

I also think that my body and mind have finally adjusted to the new diet and routine, I no longer feel deprived. I'm no longer experiencing the intense sugar cravings, and I am no longer singing when I pass the Oreos in the store. I feel more in control and that is a good feeling. Have any of you ever watched the Seinfeld episode where George eats the partially eaten eclair out of the trash? He sees the eclair, pulls it out of the trash and takes a bite, getting caught of course! Here is a link to the video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGHTcF4thLw you will have to copy and paste it, I can't make it work. Any who, it doesn't show what drove George to take a bit. What did drive him to take a bite? I think it was that out of control gotta have sugar feeling where I have been many times. No, I have never eaten out of the trash but I have been in a place in the past were I was desperately driven to satisfy a craving. I am so grateful I have moved past that place. I have been on the diet for a month and am finally feeling better and it is a huge relief.

Embarrassment of Zumba

Last night was Zumba class. I have been quite down the last several days ever since Saturday actually. I wasn't at all thrilled to be at Zumba class what so ever and I wore a frown the entire time. Why so down you ask? It is damn hard to live off of 1600 calories and have any extra energy to do a serious work out! I have been absolutely exhausted the whole week and the last thing I wanted to do was have a "fun" work out.

Well, Zumba class is held at an elementary school and last night they were holding Little League sign ups in the hall way right out side the gym where we Zumba our butts off. There I was not happy to be there, hungry, weak, tired, and shaking my stuff while parents and their young children tried not to watch. One mom found her son smiling and watching us she blushed and turned his head away! No the class is not that bad but there is lots of hip shaking and gyrating. It actually is fun to do when I'm in a good mood and people aren't just watching. How embarrassing...

With 15 minutes left in the class I was feeling faint but kept on shaking it. I finished the class best I could because I'm no quitter and I actually do want to loose weight. Right after class I found on of the main SS and said, "I'm in trouble, I just don't think I can eat so little, I barely made it through the class." She looked concerned and told me to go back up to my original eating plan and I would be needing more calories now that I'm working out more and harder. Duh...

I was quite happy and relieved to hear I could be eating more. Oh, who am I kidding? I was thrilled!! I feel better all ready and am ready to Zumba my little rear off tomorrow at 5:30 a.m.

Yes, and I have lost more weight. I don't know how much because I weighed on my friendly scale but I could tell it was even a little more friendly then usual.

I ...

gained a pound :-(

I did order a nice scale so I can weigh myself when I like to which is in the morning, after I pee, and naked.

I'm not sure how I gained a pound but what ever.

Starting next week I will be Zumba-ing 3 times a week and working out on my own either twice for 45 mins or three times for 30 mins. Not sure which I will do yet.

I have to admit I'm a little bummed and gaining a pound after my hard weekend isn't cool but I'm not giving up.

I'm sorry that dress doesn't come in that size.

I have been on a diet once before. I was in good shape when I got married and then gained about 20 pounds with in the first 6 months of marriage. I didn't mean to gain weight, I just really didn't know how to cook or menu plan and the weight just added up quite fast. I didn't realize the problem till it was time for my friend's wedding. I went to the store to get fitted for the bride's maid dress. I grabbed the size 13 and couldn't even zip it up, actually I don't think I was even able to pull it up over my hips, it had to be pulled down over my head. I wasn't concerned and asked the sales lady for a size 15 or 16 and she said, "I'm sorry that dress doesn't come in that size, the largest is a 13." Ouch. I bought the size 13 and had 6 months to fit into it. I left the dress at my husband's parents house and tried it on every weekend and every weekend it would zip up just a little further till 3 weeks before the wedding it fit! I was over joyed and looked pretty darn good.

So what I do then to loose 20 pounds? The soup diet. Just thinking about it makes me feel sick but it worked. It was basically a vegetable soup that Jeremy and I made every Sunday and ate for the whole week for dinner. Each night we would add some other ingredient to make it different and try to make it yummy. We ate light through out the day and always skipped desert. Every other Sunday we would go out to eat and order what ever we wanted which was nice because we could leave the soup at home. It wasn't easy for me then either. I felt hungry, sad, and grouchy at about 3 or 4 weeks in. I lost the excited feeling of how great it is going to be to loose weight and I started to feel deprived. I remember sitting on the couch with Jeremy feeling quite down and crying about how hungry and tired I was and how I was such a looser for missing regular food so much. Jeremy lovingly put some peanut butter on some saltine crackers for me as a snack and told me everything will be fine and that me feelings would go a way after my body got used to eating less. I made it though the diet and was working out in a kickboxing class and lost all the weight with out regaining it till I got pregnant 4 years later.

I have been feeling tired, hungry, and down again, I even cried today. And I'm encouraged to remember that I made it through once before and was able to keep the wight off before. I am hoping and praying that my body will adjust quickly and I can get out of this funk ASAP!

Jeremy has also recommended that I hold off on 5K training for now because I'm not on a training diet but a weight loss diet which is why I could be struggling now. I will start to train again once my diet and body are ready. Thank you Jeremy.

The pain, The horror, The indescribable saddens

My food has been cut. Apparently I'm just not cutting the muster. My starches have gone from 9-10 to 8. One starch is 1 slice of bread or 1/3 cup pasta type serving. I've gone from 7 down to six lean proteins which is one once of a lean meat. I know this doesn't sound like a lot of food but when your food intake has already been cut reducing it more is a big deal. I admit I'm bummed about having to eat less. When I signed up I thought sure, I'll give this a try and see if it works but what I've found out is that they are going to make sure it works. All I have to do is follow the rules and be compliant. It is a good thing I'm a loyal rule follower or else I would fall out of compliance all the time and be a very bad study subject. I need to pull myself up off the floor, wipe the tears from my cheek and the drool from my chin, and get a hold of myself. It is just food right? They are still giving me a healthy amount of calories which is now going to be 1600. I honestly don't know how that measures up to what people eat or a supposed to eat but I'm pretty sure there are some dinners at Olive Garden that contain that many calories in just one meal.

Yes I've been feeling hungry and look forward to my next meal or snack and no I haven't been satisfied. But, I signed up for this. I want to loose weight. I want the slim waist line that they are trying to get me too. I miss chocolate, snacking when I feel like it, cookies, ice cream, brownies, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, real syrup on my pancakes, eating when I want to instead of following a plan, THIS IS HARD! These are good changes I know but I don't think I was prepared for these changes, silly me.

W1D2 of the C25K complete!

One of my goals is to run. I want to first run a 5K and then work my way up to a 10K with hopes to make it to a half marathon. I'm sure I can make it to a 5K especially with this great plan and helpful site I found at http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml . I used to hate running. I would get a side ach, my knees would hurt, I would feel out of breath, and one of my feet would feel numb. This site gave me all kinds of great tips to help me overcome my chief complaints and gave me a great plan to get me to my 5K goal. W1D2 is week one day two. C25K is Couch to 5K. I felt great after this walk/run and very encouraged. I wonder what it would be like to run by myself because right now I'm pushing a 2 1/2 year old in a jogger and keeping a 4 1/2 year old with in talking distance while she rides her bike. I'm going to have to head out in the morning sometime and see how well I do when it is just me and my ipod.

Diet revisions.

In my nutrition class tonight we were told that some of us aren't loosing weight and will be cut down in our exchanges. She didn't tell us who it was and told us we would be getting e-mails by Friday letting us know how and were to reduce. I'm a little nervous. I am hungry some days but I did only loose a pound. SS says that 1-2 pounds a week is target so I'm hopping that I won't get my food cut.

I guess I'm not necessarily hungry just not satisfied. It is a weird feeling. I want to eat more but my tummy says "your full". I must be missing all the lovely sugar and fat I was accustomed to eating before. My nearly nightly ice cream, cookies, or brownies, giving them up has been noticeably different.

In class tonight SS talked about evening out through out the week. For example if you go over in one category one day then make up for it by going under for a few days after. This makes me feel like I can splurge and go eat a sugar cookie right now and just know that I will have to eat less fat and starches tomorrow. But then I worry about tomorrow. I may be happy for five minutes today but then I may be miserable tomorrow. I don't think I'll be giving this a go or if I do try I will eat less for a few days before I know I want to splurge like the birthday party I'm going to at the end of the month and the wedding next month. I figure that way I could see it as more of a reward then a punishment.

One pound a week is healthy weight loss. Oh, and I lost my underwear!

In all hilarity. In the beginning of this study the SS told us that we wouldn't be segregated in the Zumba class and nobody would know we were part of a study. I have all ready told you that we actually do stick out because of the separate card punch line and how we had to leave after 30 minutes the first week. Well today they singled us out once again. I'm not against all this singling out, I would even wear a tee-shirt advertising the study, but don't tell me nobody will know but then make it obvious. Tonight we had to weigh in at the Zumba class! We had to line up down the hall and into the bathroom and weigh in the handicap stall. Well if that isn't strange and obvious I don't know what is. People were wondering what is everybody doing in line and it is really funny but if people see people in a line they think they need to be in the line too and the SS told them it is only for the study participants. I think we should wear tee-shirts then maybe people wouldn't have to wonder what the heck is going on all the time.

So did I loose or didn't I loose?? According to the scale I lost one pound! I'm cool with one pound a week because at the end that means 16 pounds lost! I have also noticed my cloths fitting looser. I am excited and can't wait to see more results.

I put on my Zumba cloths a few hours before Zumba class including a sweater that I haven't worn in a month or so. Nothing against this sweater but it doesn't have pockets or a hood and I have been cold and want my pockets and hood. Well after our worm up I was ready to take of my sweater. I pulled the sweater up over my head and saw something falling to the floor. I reached down and caught what was falling and was very surprised and embarrassed to see my lacy black underwear that I haven't seen in a month or so. I tried best I could to walk over to my purse and tuck them into my purse. I have been wondering about those undies for a while and am clad they showed up but just not in Zumba class.

This reminds me of the seventh grade. I had two cute bras at that time and could only find one for the longest time. I had some other bras too but I was missing my other cute one. Seventh grade cute is white satin with pink trim, nothing fancy here ladies. Just like this evening, I was wearing a sweater I hadn't worn in a while and I find my cute bra in the sleeve of the sweater. I wasn't in Zumba class at that time but I was in Mrs. Burgs class in the 7th grade and you know how embarrassing everything is in the seventh grade. I think I did my best to tuck it into my backpack then. It might be time to start checking cloths more carefully when folding laundry.

Oh, Chocolate how I love you.

This morning for my smoothie I decided to be creative and make a chocolate and banana smoothie with my protein powder. Good idea poor execution. Of course chocolate syrup would be the way to go but I don't have any and it would have too much sugar (counts as one of my 9-10 starches allowed per day) so that was out. I do have coco powder so I thought it would work out nicely and well, it didn't. It was chalky and didn't have that lovely silky creamy, I love you flavor I was desiring. I added some lite whipped cream to the second one to make it a little better, it wasn't. I chocked down both smoothies because I had to and found myself still longing for some chocolaty goodness.

I have never thought of myself as an emotional eater. Being sad or lonely doesn't make me want to eat but today I found our that I actually am an emotional eater. No I wasn't sad or lonely today but I was feeling a little stressed. With my stress feelings I found myself again feeling a need to satisfy my chocolaty craving. I always reach for chocolate it is my favorite and I will eat it in all forms except for maybe chocolate covered bugs...well maybe...no defiantly not. Jeremy had to work late and I did dinner and bed by my self. I got the kids in their pj's and loaded them up in the Jeep one because it needed gas so I can make it to my 5:30 a.m. Zumba class tomorrow but also because I thought of a way that might satisfy my chocolate search. I decided to get a decaf coffee with a splash of milk and some sugar free chocolate syrup. An other big fail. It didn't taste chocolaty and still all that lovely creaminess was lost. Humph.

I got home, put the kids to bed, and grabbed an other "free" fudge pop. It hit the spot. Why didn't I learn from the other day and skip all the silliness? So I am an emotional eater. I need to remember this and also stop letting chocolate lead my thoughts for a whole day.

Goals have led me to need to shave my legs.

I stopped shaving my legs in mid October. That is right, I haven't shaved them in about three months. My legs basically looked like they belonged to a 14 year old boy. I could even feel the breeze blowing in my leg hairs when I would walk. Some of you may be saying gross and too much information or but didn't I see you in skirts over the last few months. Well, I typically don't shave in the winter because I'm wearing pants and it is fun to see just how hairy they can get. Yes, I did wear skirts along with my knee high black boots so you couldn't see those hairy legs. No, Jeremy doesn't really mind and I don't show them in public. What brought on the momentous occasion? Zumba is kicking my butt!!! I thought I could just wear my cute new work out pants but they are just not going to work for this work out. I will be needing to show off the legs and they need to be shaved.

Shaving my legs was one of my goals but I wasn't going to do it till I was able to get into my cute little red dress. While doing my Christmas shopping I came across a very sexy red dress, a date night dress. I thought, "isn't that pretty. I would be so cool to be able to pull off a dress like that, maybe some day." and I walked to the check out counter and when he started ringing up my purchases I ran back and grabbed that hot dress in one size smaller then I currently wear and bought it too. I hung that baby in my closet and it sits waiting for a nice dinner date night with my honey. My goal, to look damn hot in that dress.

My mom is in her early 50s and running 5ks 10ks and I think even one half marathon. She started running about 2 years ago and she is doing awesome. She has been such an inspiration and if she can do it so can I. I hated running when I was younger, I hated P.E. and I did golf in high school because you don't run in golf. I am determined to get myself running, enjoying running, and running 5 and 10k's regularly with my mom and sisters.

For now and hour of Zumba 3 nights a week and elliptical or walk/running twice a week is my goal and well actually a requirement.

cravings

Dropping two starches in my day has had an impact. I found myself hungry and craving those ever so tasty and satisfying starches (carbohydrates). I did eat three free foods today, two little handfuls of low carb crackers and one that I will be getting to later. So yah! Free foods are available and I did need them today.

I ran out of yogurt today so I ran, no actually drove, to the store to pick up an other tub. I'm going through the yogurt quite quickly and one last me 2 1/2 days. Well while at the store I grabbed my yogurt and found myself looking at all the cookies sitting so nicely on the shelf. I thought, "maybe there are some super low carb cookies here that I could have, or maybe I could buy the bag of vanilla wafers and have one seeing as how it is a free food." I looked but really all I could see were the dark brown and white lovelies sitting in their neat little rows hidden in their blue and white package. Yes, that is right the Oreos called to me. Oreos are worth one starch and one fat exchange according to my diet. I thought, "I could eat one of those, I could plan around giving a starch and fat to my cookie instead of some other food that I eat during the day. But can I eat just one cookie? NO! Sure, I can eat one, one row." Yes, I like and can eat one row of Oreo cookies in one day and the next day I will eat an other row and so on till they are all gone. I like to eat my sweets quickly and get them gone quickly so they aren't there tempting me all week. I figure I'm going to eat the same amount of calories so who cares if it is in just one or two days instead of a week? I know I don't mind. As I'm standing there looking at my little lovelies I swear, I begin singing to my self, "Oh my darling you look wonderful tonight." That was when I knew it was time to just walk away and I did.

I came home, added my protein powder to my yogurt and put it in the fridge. I helped put my two sweet children to bed and when I came out of my daughter's room I went to the freezer and chose my free fudge pop. I feel good about today but I realize that 15 more weeks might not be as easy as I first thought. When I'm dieting for just me I will "cheat" or "splurge" and then get right back on track. I am in a research study. If I "cheat" then there aren't consequences for me but it affects the study and what they are trying to accomplish. I'm trying to decide if it is harder or easier to do this under the watchful eye of a research study and all the staff.

ok, so not perfict

It turns out that the yogurt I'm buying has one starch exchange in it. I thought that scene it was Nancy's plain with no sugar that it would only count as one dairy exchange and that is all. But, no I have been going over by two starches everyday:-( I think I'm going to be hungry again for a few days. I have good news thought...I have been doing great on all other levels!

My nutrition class was funny. The SS had to tell us how we shouldn't drink a bunch of alcohal. The ladies in my class must drink alot because they really kept hammering it in with laying off the beer. SS said to limit yourself to one or two drinks a week which made me laugh because I think I have one or two drinks a month at the most.

Included in this diet are "free foods" this is a list of foods that you can consume that don't count towards any of your exchanges. On the list are the obvious lettuce, cucumbers, celery...but also 10 goldfish crackers, 1 sugar-free fudge pop, 2 saltine crackers, 1 cup of light popcorn, and 1 vanilla wafer. The concept of free foods cracks me up because what if you only ate free foods all day long would that be like not eating at all? What if I ate 10 goldfish in the morning and then 10 at lunch and then 10 at dinner and the 10 right before I go to bed, do all those goldfish really not count? Last week when we started this diet the told us we could eat all the free foods we wanted and it would be ok. Tonight they told us that we now need to limit ourselves to only 3-5 free food per day. I sat in the front row and started to laugh lightly to myself as half the class lets out an "aww". SS asked me if that was going to be heard. I said, "no, I only ate 3-5 of them through out the whole week, it will be fine." I don't know, they are already having us eat 5 times a day. Really when do you have time to eat even more then that? Maybe things will change when I start counting that yogurt as a starch and I will need those free foods. The fudge pop is my favorite.

Well, tonight they weighed us. I don't have a problem with being weighed but I have an issue with how it was done, no, they didn't strip us down naked, announce it to the class, or any thing strange. But they are comparing it to our original weight from when we first signed up for the study. That was the beginning of November, two holidays ago! I don't remember what my weight was that day two months ago but I'm worried that it will show that I have gained weight scene starting the study but that is because around Christmas I ate fudge for 5 days. Me, and a lot of the women may have, a little, gone slightly overboard over Christmas knowing that the diet started after the first of January. I am just wishing that they would have weighed us last week the night before the diet and exercise plan was put into place. We will weigh again next week so my plan is to call the weight that I weighed tonight as my original weight. I will let you all know if I lost or not after the next weigh in.

Is it a little too easy?

I was told that it would take around two weeks to get this diet down and it probably wouldn't be easy to learn. As a matter of fact they wanted us to mostly focus on getting our breakfasts and snacks figured out when we are using our protein. The first two days were not really easy but I made it through but now I'm finding it easy. I usually have my breakfast and plan my dinner and then eat accordingly for the rest of the day. I am eating all my exchanges and making healthy choices. So, what I'm trying to figure out is; have I simply just done a good job and learned the diet or am I missing something and totally not following the rules. I'm leaning towards the first one but still I wonder. Tomorrow night is an other nutrition class and I have a few questions. Hopefully they will say I'm doing great.

One thing that has been heard is dropping all the random snacking. I plan out what I'm going to eat for the day and there isn't room for a hand full of this or that. I teach 4 year old Sunday school a few times a month and we had Teddy Grams with our snack. There were plenty and my normal tendency would be to just grab a handful and eat them. But instead of my brain saying "yum" my brain said 1 starch exchange per 10 or so and I don't want to eat my starches that way.

This has got me thinking what happens after the 16 weeks of the study? Do I live in exchange world for ever? Are they going to teach me how to eat like this with out counting all the time? Do I just learn how to eat better by all this careful practice for 16 weeks? I just don't know but like every body else once the weight is off you don't want it back on again and if this leads me to a thinner middle I want to stay.

Success

Last night I went out to dinner and a play with one of my good friends. She told me about four days ago about that dinner would be at Olive Garden. At first I was excited because I love Olive Garden and go maybe once a year but then I panicked about what on earth I would order. I am pleased to say that I did a little research and was able to eat my full plate of Shrimp Primavera with a salad and a glass of white wine. What I did was go on line to Olive Garden's web sight, look up the nutrition info, pick something that would be yummy and have low enough carbs and fat that I could justify eating it. I did the math and figured out how many exchanges I would consume at dinner and eat accordingly for the beginning of the day. It worked out great!

Today I went over to my mother and father-in-law's house. My mother-in-law always has chocolate and treats around in little candy dishes and on the counter. I have the hardest time not snacking when I'm there because snacks are all around me and yummy ones too! I walked in and recognized my first inkling was to go looking for the chocolate. This startled me into paying attention to my self and my cravings. I did eat two small cookies but they fit into my exchange plan and I stayed on track.

People keep asking me if I have lost any weight. Well, I don't know. I have only been doing this for 5 days but I've been doing a good job following the rules so maybe but I still don't know. The problem is my scale weighs not really in pounds but more in "ranges". I just always make sure I'm in the same range. The other thing with my scale is it is a little friendly, about 5 pounds friendly. It is really funny when ever somebody comes over and they use my bathroom they always anounce they lost five pounds. This always cracks me up. Why are people weighing them selves at my house? I wonder, do these people just hope on any scale they see? The other thing that is funny is how happy they are when the announce their weight loss. We won't even be on the topic of weight or any where close and then somebody pops out of the bathroom and shares with a big smile that they just lost five pounds with out even trying! I start to smile and say, "Well my scale is a little friendly and weighs 5 pounds under." They get sad and say I wish my scale was friendly. No, I don't like to crush people but it still is funny, try it some time. So here is my dilema. I would like to be keeping an eye one on how many pounds I'm loosing but I don't want to suddenly gain 5 pounds when I get it. I like to pretend that my scale is accurate and the doctor's scale is always wrong. Isn't ok to like in ignorance? But I do think I will buy a nice digital scale and I will let you all know when I loose a few pounds.

It is so early!!

This fine morning I got up at 5:00. If you ready my first post I mentioned some of the down falls or cons of this study. Zumba at 5:30 is deffenetally one of them. I don't like to move at all at 5:00. If my kids try to get up that early I always put them back to bed. I only like to be sleeping and that is it. I didn't even sleep well last night because I was soar from my first Zumba on Wednesday and my 30 minutes on the elliptical yesterday. I ate a piece of toast with three ibuprofen to make my self feel better, we will see how that goes.

Smoothy, smoothy. Yesterday I had my two smoothies and they were lovely. My recepie is as fallows: 12 oz of plain Nancy's yogurt, 1/2 cup mixed frozen fruit, and 1/2 a banana. These makes two servings. When I first got the yogurt I mixed in the appropriate amount of whey protein ahead of time as they suggested to make it less noticeable and surprise, surprise it worked.

Well the rules are you have to consume your protein 30 mins after a work out. I got home this morning at 6:15 and of course everybody was asleep but I needed to make my smoothy. I put all the ingredients in the blender and took that puppy to the garage. Nobody was bothered by it and I was able to follow the rules;-)

I am far from great at Zumba and I really need to find some rhythm and I need to loosen up the hips of mine. Hopefully in a few weeks I will find my Latin rhythm and be able to salsa and rumba my hips out.

Smoothies may be the way to go!

This morning I had my lovely protein powder mixed into a fruit and yogurt smoothy. I made two servings at once, drank one and put the other in the fridge. The one I drank in the morning was ok. I could still taste the powder but this may be one of those things that you can't really hide you just have to deal with. I placed the other smoothy in the fridge fearing it would be terrible when I had to drink it later in the day after my Zumba class. We have been asked to consume the protein once in the morning and once with in thirty minutes after our work out.

Today around 2 in the afternoon I found myself hungry and crabby. I really enjoy some sort of sweet around that time and man, I didn't realize how much I would miss it. This has happen to me in the past when I reduce my sugar/carbohydrate intake and it always leaves me with cravings and grumpiness. I really hope this feeling goes away soon.

Zumba Zumba Zumba! I got to class a little early and could hear the class that was just finishing up. I could hear the instructor and she sounded familiar but I couldn't see here. Once I am able to go it there she is! Amy! I took a class from her several years ago before I had kids when she taught at the local gym. I took a weight lifting class from her then and she was very fun, perky, and hysterical. I was just as excited as could be to have her as the instructor. I knew she was going to be fun and engaging and she was and she really got a good work out out of me then. Half the women in the class were regulars and the other half were us study participants. Amy jumped right into class and it was learn as you go with one rule, "just keep moving". I was expecting to be able to keep up for the most part because I have danced in the past but man, she moves fast. I was a bit lost occasionally but I saw some other women who were hopelessly lost and felt quite out of there element and I do have to confess that all the hip shaking, pumping, and popping was a little uncomfortable with it as well. I do hope that my hips will loosen up a little I can move them they way they were meant to though.

So at one of our first informational meetings the SS told us we would be doing Zumba but we would be blended into the class and people wouldn't know we were part of a study. B.S. I think it is a little obvious that us study participants (SP) have to line up in a separate line then the regulars but maybe people didn't notice. What would you think if after 30 minutes into the class 1/2 the class leaves? Do you think you would notice they all left? I don't know maybe that is obvious to me but perhaps there are some out there that wouldn't notice. I honestly don't care if people know I'm in a study but don't tell me I will blend in when I don't. One more rant. Now people want to ask me questions about the study and I don't always feel like talking to people. I'm not rude on unpersonable I just don't always feel like talking.

Ooh, I know I'm just going to direct them to my blog. That should answer all there questions.

Oh and by the way 30 mins of zumba totally kicked my but.

And that second smoothy; I put in a freezer cup before I left for my class and left it in the car. I drank it after class and it was good! Like eating a milkshake just after a work out! Yum.

And it starts today.

For breakfast I had my oatmeal with protein powder. I put the dry oatmeal in a bowl, mixed the powder and water together, added it to the oatmeal, and microwaved. Well...when I brought it out of the microwave it looked like a breast fed baby had spit up in my oatmeal and truthfully it tasted like it too. I know you know what I'm talking about. Little white chunks in a milky fluid splattered all over the place and the milky over done smell. Gross right. Couldn't get any worse right? Well it did. The texture was a lovely combination of rubbery chewiness. I typically really like oatmeal and will eat it regularly. I add a little plain apple sauce and maybe some molasses or jam, it is very good. So I decide to add some apple sauce to my baby spit up oatmeal and it basically just makes more rubbery grossness for me to eat. I add some honey which, you guessed it, just made it a sweeter rubbery grossness. I finished it because the SS asked me to but I actually felt like I might vomit afterwords and I hardly ever ever feel like that. Oh dear, oh dear why did I ever think this would be a good idea? And I have to do this two times a day for sixteen weeks!?!
Whey powder number two. This time I go for the powder in yogurt. I mixed it about an hour before I planned to eat it in an effort to avoid dry chunks and thankfully chunks were avoided. The taste was not lovely but was much better then the oatmeal. But I still didn't like it. Will I ever like it? Who really does this everyday? Do people do this every day? Why?.....
I think I did a pretty good job following all of my eating exchanges rules. As of now I am to eat 9-10 starches, 4 veggies, 2 fruits, 2 dairy, 7 proteins (not including the powder), and 3-4 fats. I found out that these don't represent serving sizes but exchanges and if you google exchange diets you will find out more info. I'm not going to explain it here. But I did a pretty good job and met my quota for the day but I found out that the creamer I added to my coffee probably counted as one starch which means I went over on my starches by one. I find myself craving my end of the day sweet treat and I know that is going to be the struggle for me.
I didn't exercise today but am looking forward to Zumba tomorrow. I will let you know how it goes.

I brought my grocery bag

Tonight was my first nutrition class for the study. They split ups up depending on if we were in the 25% protein group or the 15% protein group. I am unfortunately in the 25% protein group which means the protein powder for me. Yippy, not.
I have to get side tracked for a moment. I'm not sure but I may have an obsession with bathrooms, I even dream about them. Of course I needed to use one before my class, I always like to be prepared and not have to go in the middle of something. My class was in a building other then the one I have already talked about and this building doesn't have scary hallways but it does have an interesting bathroom. This bathroom didn't give my the horror movie feel like the earlier one but more of an ironic feel. The counters are worn burnt orange vinyl with chipped white porcelain sinks. The walls are a mish-mash of off white colors peeling is some areas and bubbling in others. The doors sag on their hinges and are a trick to lock shut. And to my surprise, dividing the three stalls are two inch thick marble slabs. Strange right?
Moving on.
Our class was much what I expected the oohing, awing, and disappointment over what an actual portion or serving size is according to the exchange method. I was sitting with four other women at my table when we were asked to place a single portion of pasta on our plate. One women is shocked, she claims to eat about six to five portions of pasta at a time. I am a little surprised she seemed so surprised she was eating so much more then recommended. Seriously, if you were eating the portions you are supposed to be eating you wouldn't have signed up or been qualified to be in this study. I'm a little board during this portion of class. I already know I eat more then recommended and I know what a serving size looks like I am just currently choosing to eat a little more then recommended, especially in the chocolate category (not an actual category).
Then next part of class is more interesting. It is all about the protein powder. I am required to consume it two times a day once in the morning and once after my work out. The part of the whole study already feels like a chore. I am not looking forward to having to consume anything let alone something obscure two times a day. They (the SS) tried to make it interesting and divers. "You can cook it into your oatmeal", "put it in a smoothy", "mix it into juice", "put it into yogurt". And they tried to give some helpful tips, "mix a five day supply ahead of time" (stomach turns), "the longer you let it set the better it will be, drink it right away and it will be dry and lumpy" (barf), "It will thicken what ever you add it to so don't be afraid to water it down" (you want me to consume this twice a day for 16 weeks?).
Next we get to try some!! I really didn't want to try any. I just wanted to go home and eat dinner but I figured I could try a few ways tonight that way maybe I could avoid some trial and error latter down the road. I tried it in the oat meal and I think that will be the way I eat it in the morning. I am a fan of oat meal and the powder just make the oatmeal seem more creamy I wouldn't have guessed it has something added to it. I also tried it in yogurt which again I couldn't tell anything had been added so this sounds like a good option for the second consumption of the day. Other options to try were added to fruit juice or in a smoothy. I opted out of trying these two but I may experiment in my own kitchen later on. I will let you know how they turn out.
By the end of the class we were each given three large container which looked like 1/2 gallon jars of honey but are actually brown translucent plastic. The jars are a lot lighter then I expect but I am glad I remembered my sac because they would have been a pain to carry. I am also given the privilege of picking out my own shaker cup. I choose pink and I think it is lovely. Perhaps I will use it to mix a nice lovely whey protein and V8 fusion supper drink. mmmm....mmmm....mmmmm

Dexascan

Instructions received via e-mail. Don't be pregnant, don't wear any plastic or metal, don't take a calcium supplement with in 24 hours, and don't have any other exposure to any type of x-rays with in 48 hours of getting dexascan. A pregnancy test will be performed before your scan.
No metal or plastic. So no jewelry that is easy. But then I start thinking about any other metal or plastic I might wear. T-shirt, easy. Stretch pants with our any metal or plastic tie ends, got that. But what about a bra...Obviously hooks and under wire are out. How about one of those tank bras? No, adjustable straps have little plastic circle things. I tell my husband about my dilemma. I refuse to go with out a bra but don't know what to wear. Husband says, "What about a sports bra?" Wow, can't believe I didn't think about that. Thank you my darling for solving that one for me.
I go to my appointment assuming the pregnancy test is going to be a urine one so I make sure I drink lots of water that way I can pee. If you didn't read my earlier post about having a problem with this earlier I suggest you read my earlier post titled "I have to go to the bathroom".
The dexascan is in that same creepy basement mentioned before but I'm feeling brave tonight and head down stairs while following the signs that are pointing me to the right lab. Take a deep breath. No bad guys in hall ways, check. I walk into the lab office and am kindly informed to please wait while a SS (study staff) comes to take me for my pregnancy test. I am assuming we are going over to the student health clinic for the pregnancy test so I put my coat and mittens on for the cold walk out side. SS and I walk down the hall way and instead of heading up stairs as I expect we head for the women's locker room. Are you kidding me? My heart quickens in beat just thinking about it. Take a deep breath. On a bench next to the peeling white paint is a medium sized card board box with little, and I mean little, plastic cups and thin white test strips. "Ok" SS says, "go a head and fill this cup about half way, bring it out here, and then we will test it." So, I need to go into a stall, pee in a little tiny cup, smaller then I ever have before, all the while she stands in the bathroom with me. I have been here before and it didn't work out but I drank lots and lots of water, I can do this. I can hear her sigh and put on a rubber clove. I think about asking her to turn on the water but again don't want to sound like a weirdo. I sigh and then I pee! I did it and I got into the cup! Victory! I awkwardly carry my little cup of pee out to her while she dips the test strip in and asks me to continue holding my little cup of pee while she makes sure the test works. It does and I am asked to dump the pee in the toilet and I found out that it is indeed negative. Now on to the dexascan.
SS and I walk back down to the lab and am shown into a basic office looking room with some cubicle dividers, a small desk, and a x-ray bed/table with a large white arm type thing curving up and over part of the bed. I am instructed to remove my shoes and have a seat then lay down on my back on the bed. SS places a strap around my feet so they can be relaxed but hold still. SS runs his hands under my shoulders to flatten them our and he places my arms and hands with my thumbs tucked under my palms down along my sides. I sneeze and SS asks me to hold still. I am told the entire test will take 3 minutes. I am asked not to sneeze or move but I can breath regularly and blink. When somebody asks me not to move I smile. I just can't help it. I can't keep the smile to myself and I hope that this doesn't count as moving. The machine begins to move the table goes up and the arm starts moving up along the right side of my body. The arm makes two more passes once down my front and once down along my left side. I feel a sneeze coming on, hold it, hold it, OK, it goes away. I feel a smile coming on each time the arm comes over my face and I bit the inside of my cheek to avoid it, ouch but smile moving avoided. The machine comes to a stop and I am done! SS tells me I can get down and put my shoes back on. SS wishes me a good night and reminds me to bring my grocery sac to bring home all that protein powder home from my next appointment. I think, "Oh, I can't believe I'm going to have to drink that crap" but I say, "thank you for the reminder, good night".